The only name brand of computer we have ever recommend is Dell. Why? Because, hands-down, they make the best piece of hardware on the market, that's why. They have also been the only company to provide XP as an option for the last year of the Vista Debacle (until just recently. Read This Article). It certainly isn't for their customer service, which has been arguably the worst in the industry since they outsourced it to India some seven years ago. As a classic example of how incredibly bad their service is, allow me to recount a recent experience...

We have a client who purchased one of the XPS M 2010 series of "laptops on steroids" computers Dell makes. I'd never actually seen one of these beasts until June of 2008 when it came into our shop for repairs. This monster has a 20" screen and weighs in at around 20 pounds. Other shops had diagnosed it as a bad motherboard and the cutomer wanted to be sure -- and have us send it to Dell if necessary. Not an uncommon request for us. The customer initially contacted Dell and Dell wanted them to remove the motherboard and send it in for replacement - a ridiculous request, given the average consumer's technical acumen and the complexity of this product's construction.

I booted up the computer and found it completely unresponsive, even though the LED indicator lights came on for all functions. This can be a motherboard problem or a power supply -- or some other tertiary device causing the problem. We service a LOT of laptops and routinely completely disassemble them to replace or repair bad power supply connectors. This behemoth is a mystery. No clear indication of how it comes apart for service. I'm not feeling all that confident about taking the system apart and sending in the motherboard for several reasons:

1. If it's not the motherboard, when it comes back and is reinstalled -- and doesn't work -- the customer has spent a lot of money for nothing.
2. Between the time it's disassembled and the time the replacement comes back, (probably several weeks) it's easy to forget how it gets put back together without a video record of the process. You try it.
3. The method for getting it apart intact is completely unclear.
4. I'd rather have Dell just take the buggy monster and send it back working!

So, I set aside the time to contact Dell (this can be time-consuming and exasperating) and look up the number for the North Park Mall in Dallas where there is a Dell store and call the store. Mike answers and is as unhelpful as he can be. Terse and borderline rude, Mike tells me Dell doesn't service Out of Warranty computers. I am dumbfounded and tell him so. Mike tells me "nobody" services their products out of warranty. I tell him "nonsense" that Maytag and Dodge certainly do. We service our computers out of warranty for a reasonable fee and my client is willing to pay a reasonable fee to have this $2000+ computer repaired by Dell. This doesn't phase Mike and he remains adamant that we're out of luck. I ask for a number for Dell where I can speak to a human to find a solution. He tells me to call 1-800-TRY-DELL. Very helpful.

So I call the Dell number and get someone in India I can barely understand (and I'm good with dialects of all kinds all over the world) who tells me basically the same thing as Mike. I ask if they don't service computers out of warranty and he tells me they have an out of warranty department and will transfer me. After making sure I have the number for future reference he transfers me to someone else in India whom I can understand even less well and with whom I have a terrible connection where I can barely hear him. This script monkey tells me they only service motherboards and LCDs. I tell him it's probably the motherboard and just want to ship the computer to Dell and have it replaced if necessary. He says they can't do that. I ask what would they have done if it was under warranty. He continues to repeat the same mantra -- that they only service motherboards and LCDs. It is a circular conversation and I'm getting dizzy after over 30 minutes with this useless excuse for a customer service representative. I ask for a manager and am put on hold. After about five minutes, Benji (or whatever his name is) comes back on the line and tells me his manager says the same thing.

After 45 minutes on the phone to Dell's unique brand of Customer Service -- on the Other Side of the World -- I have gotten nowhere. The bottom line, as I informed "Benji" is that if someone owns a Dell they should just toss it in the recycling bin when it goes out of warranty, because if it's a problem Dell needs to fix, it simply Will Not Happen. This is, not surprisingly, an atrocious excuse for customer service. Any manufacturer should have options in place to service Out of Warranty products -- especially items as expensive and complicated to service as this one.

Michael Dell should be ashamed.