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Most people wouldn't believe what we find inside computers, so we've established our very own Photo Page for just this purpose -- and for some edification, as well as a bit of amusement.

Click on the photos for enlargements, of course.

Topics: dirt | don't try this at home | screen shots | electrical damage | miscellaneous if you smoke you should see this

And for your edification, grammatically (or otherwise) incorrect phrases from our email

Updated Saturday, February 14, 2009 7:17 AM

Things You Shouldn't do to Your Computer

7/26/08

We actually did this on purpose to illustrate the best way to be sure no one recovers your personal data from a computer you decide to discard.

Cutting through the drive with a torch is by far the most certain way to destroy the data permanently -- and there is a cathartic quality to the process.

Our favorite so far - this is what happens when you treat your Desktop computer like a Laptop -- and lug it all over creation to play computer games with a bunch of other 'gamers' -- in an Ice Storm.

Slipping on an icy sidewalk, this hapless consumer mangled his case beyond recognition - so much so, in fact, that the front panel -- and side panels can no longer be installed.

But it still works!

...But we don't know for how long

	In the icky-sticky category...
	Our first runner up. Notice the dark stain dripping down the outside of the case? That's a Coke stain. Want to see what got through the grille?
	Here's what got though the grille - and into the case. Notice the lovely puddle of corrosive crap on the bottom of the dust-encrusted case? Yep - that's Coke.
	And here's what it looks like when Coke hits the CPU - and corrodes the aluminum heat sink. Your computer shouldn't 'drink' Coke - or any other liquid, for that matter

	When you use your CD-Rom drive as a cup holder, here's what happens...

updated 2-14-09	In the 'don't try this at home' category...
	Here's an example of using the wrong part for the job. Instead of putting in the correct ATX power supply, this individual decided to force a Micro-ATX supply to do the job - with one screw holding it in place...

	This computer actually came in this way - with the drive loose. Needlessly to say, this computer had problems or it wouldn't have come into our shop in the first place. A word of advice... If you're going to work on your own computer -- and leave things dangling free inside... Neaten them up before you take it to the shop -- if for no other reason than to save face.

	If you look closely at the top right corner of the circuit board, you'll notice the small white power connector with red, black and yellow wires running to it. Observe that it is plugged into the USB header on the Motherboard. This is a Floppy Drive power connector. It is supposed to be connected to the floppy drive!

	Notice the bent pins on the second card from the right. Think this works properly? This is why computers should not be considered user-serviceable -- unless the user has a fair degree of mechanical aptitude.

	This computer would not boot. Notice the PCI card in this photo is not completely seated. Think there's a connection? Another reason computers should not be considered to be user-serviceable.

	Actually, this works as well as can be expected when you replace a modem in an old Compaq Presario. There are no cover plates made for this particular chassis -- so packing tape works as well as anything to keep the bugs out.

	This is the wrong (albeit clever) way to mount a Quantum Bigfoot Hard Drive. There was plenty of 5-1/4" chassis space to mount this drive where it belonged. How is it held in place? Take a look...
	Notice the two black screw heads on the left edge of the motherboard plane? That's how it's mounted.

	When a computer comes in looking like this, we just have to ask "what happened?" This is what happens when your 'friend' replaces your power supply and doesn't put any of the screws back in.
	It's very fortunate nothing was broken when the power supply tumbled down inside the case during the trip to our shop.
updated 2-3-08
	Buyer beware! When you buy a computer on eBay you never know what will arrive. In this case the CPU fan was not only not attached, but there were no retaining clips for the fan -- anywhere inside the computer. There was also no Operating System installed and no supplied CDs or manuals!
	Once again, it's fortunate nothing was broken with the fan bouncing around loose in transit.
	Again, working on your own computer when you don't understand the technology can be expensive... This gentleman wanted to replace the CPU fan. He released the retaining clips and pulled on the fan assembly, ripping the fan, heatsink and processor right out of the socket in one piece due to the adhesive quality of the heat sink compound. When he realized he couldn't separate the processor from the heat sink, he tried to re-insert it -- without lifting the release lever...
	A Multi-disk player in a laptop? See... It just doesn't work to put more than one disk in at a time -- and generates lovely repair bills...
	This is a double-whammy in the "what the hell" category. Notice the extra cooling fan held in place with (one) wire tie? Looks good and solid, don't you think? Then notice the pair of hard drives on the right. When you mount one on top of the other without room for air to flow between them, they both overheat and fail prematurely. It's very good for business, though.
	Our first clue that something was wrong... It's hard to see, but if you look closely you will notice the connector cover plate is warped and pulled away from the chassis around the VGA connector. We took this photo as we were checking the computer in on our front counter. See the next image for the explanation...
	When you either don't know your own strength -- or have no idea whatsoever of the physical limitations of a mechanical assembly... you should call someone to to it for you. This lady was removing her tower from the cubby hole under her desk and ripped the VGA connector right off the motherboard. We were SO impressed...
	OK, I like duct tape as much as the next guy, but it just does NOT belong inside your computer, Knowwhattamean?
	This, however, is a pretty clever way to replace broken hinges with duct tape. Would I do it? Probably not. If I'd spent a wad of cash on a Gamer Case I think I'd find a better way to resolve the problem caused by whacking the case door clean off the computer with my knee...
	If you're going to work on your computer, it's good to make sure you put back all the screws. This computer came in because it was shutting off shortly after booting up. This is a really good way to overheat your processor and render your computer D.E.D.
7/26/08	And further down the road on the topic of loose screws, this hard drive came in for data recovery. Notice only ONE screw holding the cover plate in place. Removing the screws to this drive means we will not attempt to recover the data. Once you have breached the air-tight case, it is a Clean Room (read expensive) project...

updated 2-14-09	And in an effort to illustrate what we say about annual cleanings:
	Completely clogging the CPU cooling assembly was this lovely accumulation of critter fur, hair, dust, fuzz and any other airborne bit of crap that came near this computer. Can you say O-V-E-R-H-E-A-T-I-N-G?

	This CPU was completely dead due to overheating. What you see is a buildup of gypsum (sheet rock) dust as a result of some home improvements - resulting in a complete gut-and-rebuild of this 3 year old computer. With the heat sink completely clogged it cannot cool itself. BAG IT if you're creatiing a lot of dust! OK?

	This is what we saw when we removed the CPU cooling fan on this computer. If this crap isn't blown out regularly, you will have overheating problems, causing lockups, crashes, data loss, and even complete CPU failure due to heat damage.

	Computers NEED to be cleaned occasionally. At least once a year, you need to have your computer opened up and blown out by someone who knows what they're doing.
	All this dust and dirt is bad for your computer. It causes overheating, floppy drive and CD-Rom drive failure and fan failure in Power Supplies and CPU cooling systems.
	And this isn't the worst we've ever seen, by a long shot. This is fairly average.
	Notice all the dust embedded in the cooling fan and collected along the back plane? This all contributes to premature failure of the system.
	This is a fairly average amount of dust to find inside a computer after a year or so of sitting on the floor and sucking up dust bunnies. When you take the front cover off your Dell, this is probably what you will find.
	On the topic of annual (or bi-annual) cleanings, how well do you suppose this assembly is cooling the processor? Any liklihood this CPU is still viable?
	On the topic of annual (or bi-annual) cleanings, here's a nice, thick coating of fuzz on all interior surfaces, illustrating what we say about your computer "sucking" all airborn particles into its innards. It should be obvious that this is not good for your computer.
	On the topic of annual (or bi-annual) cleanings, how well do you suppose this assembly is cooling the processor? Any liklihood this CPU is still viable?
	This laptop came in because it would power up for a few seconds, then shut down. Since we've seen this just "a couple of times" before, we had a good idea where to look. We've removed the "blanket" of dirt from the left side of the cooling fin assembly to illustrate the difference between what it should look like and how it came into the shop.
	Metal Dust is not your computer's friend!
	As an excellent example of an environment that is not computer-friendly, consider this machine shop. Computers are not happy in an environment where particles of metal accumulate on every surface.
	Ditto
	Same here.
	This is not uncommon in an auto repair shop. Lots of dust and dirt accumulated inside -- and outside of your computer. It's a pretty fair guess that when the outside of the case looks like this:
	The inside of the case will look like this:

	Your server should not look like this Dell! An occasional cleaning should be on your calendar to avoid overheating and bearing damage.
updated 2-3-08	Dog Hair is also not your computer's friend
	Let's say you have a dog that likes to sleep in front of your Dell Dimension. Think it might need the occasional cleaning? This is what we saw when we removed the side cover. But wait... Theres more!
	Upon removing the front cover, we found exactly what we expected to find - a virtual dog-hair blanket.
	Extreme close-up of the dog-hair blanket inside this Dell Dimension. Isn't this just disgusting? This is why your computer should be cleaned annually.
	And our most recent entry in the "woof" category. Any guesses about what the indide of the computer looked like?
7/26/08	When your laptop shuts down on its own, it's usually due to overheating. This computer wasn't running as hot as some I've worked on, but higher than normal -- and no air was coming out the exhaust vents. This is why... They may be man's best friend, but their fur does not do your laptop any good at all...

	And Tobacco is just as bad for your computer as it is for you
	This is one of the most disgusting things I've encountered in the field. When I picked up this laptop I couldn't believe my eyes. What looks like a fire ant mound is actually tar buildup around the fan vents on the bottom of this HP laptop. Not surprisingly, it's main problem was overheating due to clogged cooling assemblies.

	How's this for nasty? We had to scrape this crap off before we could break out the air compressor!

	Interestingly enough, if you smoke -- so does your computer. When you open the computer case and see this: What do you think it's from?
	It's from this... This is TAR from cigarette smoke encrusted on the CPU cooling fan. This is from a residential installation - not a lawn and garden shop! This fan had to be replaced, as it was failing. We were amazed it lasted as long as it did!
	Notice how the TAR is encrusted around the vent holes created by the back panel knockouts.
	Even the modem jacks are clogged with this crap. This computer is just over 2 years old -- amazing, isn't it?
	Normally, when we see this, it's as a result of the power supply catching on fire. Not in this case. It's all from cigarette smoke. Still think it's a good idea to smoke around your computer? But wait, there's more...
	More Smoking-Related Damage
	When you look at the back of a computer and see this through the power supply grille, you know the inside of the computer will not be pretty!
	This was what the other side of the power supply looked like:
	And once we opened it up...
	A closer look reveals not only a world-class build-up of tar, but dust, dirt and, yes... Mold!
	Isn't this pretty?
	This is what the CPU looked like.
	The same customer, whose husband was a career smoker, brought this computer in as well. This is the rear-panel cpu fan. When you see something like this you can bet the inside will be NASTY!
	And this is what the air deflector for the cpu looked like. This is clear plexiglass -- or was when it was new. What you are seeing is tar build-up from massive amounts of cigarette smoke being sucked into the computer - then out through this deflector.
	The vent holes in the back of the case are clogged with tar as well!


	How you can spill coke horizontally into a floppy is still a mystery to us, but here's the result -- and no, the floppy does not function since this incident.
7/26/08	Spilling Mountain Dew into your laptop, aside from possibly being the catalyst for the onset of Notebook Diabetes, is going to severely decrease its lifespan. When the residue makes it all the way to the bottom of the hard drive, you can kiss your computer good-bye...

	When you look through the side vents in a computer case and see this...

	You can bet the rest of the computer will look like this >>>>

updated 2-3-08	On the subject of virus protection...
	This is what happens when you don't have adequate antivirus protection. Over 16,000 files could not be repaired and were deleted. --Thanks to Mike for this one
	OK, I realize this picture is pretty poor, but we had limited time to photograph the screen. This is what happens when you get the Opaserv virus and it finally releases it's payload, rewriting your BIOS, putting this message into your boot sector and wiping out your hard drive.
	When you've got this particular screensaver enabled and you never get around to logging in to Windows before the system locks up, this is what you see.
	When your computer is this fragmented, you can bet your performance is poor. You should see mainly Blue (contiguous) -- not Red (fragmented.)
	Windows Vista... What can I say? Here's how long it will take to copy 11.1 gigs across our Gigabit network from one of our storage machines to a new Vista-crippled(tm) Toshiba. 3 DAYS? Yep! Vista doesn't "work and play well" with others...

updated 2-3-08	Overheating, lightning and component damage...
	We're not sure as to the exact cause of the electrical damage to this Quantum hard drive, but you can easily see why it was non-functional when it was brought in. Notice the burn marks extending from the chip on the left to the larger chip on the right.
	This one we're sure of. This was caused by lightning damage and underscores our position regarding surge protectors that isolate the telephone line connecting your modem to the wall. Notice the small, square overheated and raised area on the Rockwell chip.
	This label is directly under the Rockwell chip. Notice the way the label is deformed as a result of overheating? That's what lightning can do.
	When your Quantum Fireball drive starts producing it's own 'fireball', you are certain to suffer significant data loss. Need I mention the importance of backups?
	We get a lot of laptops with damaged connectors. Most of them don't actually have the connectors "welded" together. Notice the lack of a "hole" in the end of this connector? That's because it's plugged by the female pin of the jack being literally arc-welded into the plug. Not your easiest (or cheapest) repair job.
	This is what happens when you work on your own computer and are not careful to FULLY SEAT THE POWER CONNECTOR. When you leave a power connector slightly loose, the resistance in the circuit increases, generating heat, arcing and burning -- and a non-repairable situation like this one. Of course, we could replace the motherboard and power supply -- and that would technically "repair" the computer, but in many cases the cost is prohibitive.

	Lightning Damage
	When lightning comes up through your cable and into your cable modem, you start with a singed F Connector where the cable connects to the modem...
	The spike works its way through the cable modem (R.I.P.) and out the RJ45 jack into the Cat5 cable. This is what the end that connected to the computer looked like.
	And this is what the female RJ45 connector on the back of the computer looked like. Needless to say, this little HP Pavilion was D.O.A. We were, however, able to salvage all the data from the Hard Drive.

	Miscellaneous Assorted Damage
	When your CAT acquires a taste for Cat5 cable, you're likely to lose your connection to the rest of the world. In this case, the shorted cable crashed a Windows 2000 installation rather nicely -- necessitating a reinstall.
	It's a good idea to 'retire' any CDs that develop cracks or fractures, as when you spin them at the speed of today's CD Drives, they literally EXPLODE! Note the bits of HP Printer install CD...

	To illustrate what we say about AMD chips running hot, notice the blue color on the metal surface of this Athlon. This was the color it turned right before it failed permanently - due to fan failure.

Phrases that will not get you an interview:

This was in response to a job posting of ours. Essentially, if you cannot spell the very products and services you are supposed to be proficient at, how am I supposed to believe you're remotely competent. I'm not interested in correcting the spelling, grammar and sentence structure in every database entry you make.

To Hiring Manager

I am very interested in your company and have enclosed my resume of qualification for you to review.

My personal goal is to combine my people skills with my technical skills in order to
Broaden my impact on the job situation, thus enhancing advancement opportunities.

You will find my resume reflects the diversity of abilities in the broad filed I have chosen. And I have an ample troubleshooting capacity to offer as potential employee of Your Organization.

I am eager to discuss the opportunity that my be available and look forward response.

Sincerely.

(Name omitted for the obvious reasons)

Enclosure.

--
HP Cerrifted Propessinoal
HP Commerical Desptop, Workstation & Notebooks.
HP LaserJet Soulutions (2006)
HP Designet Soulutions (2006)
HP Tech Zone MasterTech PC cerdential 2008.
Hp Tech Zone MasterTech TV ceredential 2008.
Certified in LEXMARK, Canaon , Dell
OKI Data Printing Souutions, IBM\ Lenovo
Memvber of ETA, ...

This was sent TO me directly -- not as part of a mass-mailing:

Dear Perspective Employers,

Attached is a copy of my resume. If ever there are positions you feel myself qualified, please do not hesitate to inform me. I am eagerly awaiting career possibilities.

Sincerely, (name withheld)

If you can't spell or assemble a sentence properly you will never get an interview with us.

To whom this may concern,
I am interested with a intern opportunity. Attached is my resume.
Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
applicant name withheld

Same error as above, add in the fact that it was Blind-Copied to us and several other prospective employers. If you can't take the time to send a request directly TO each prospect, I will assume you're too lazy to work for us.

From: <applicant_email@yahoo.com>
Subject: Application for the position available in software field
To: applicant_email@yahoo.com

I have done Masters in Computer Science (GPA: 3.85)
from (Tech Institute name withheld) and
would like to apply for the position available at your
firm.

The fatal error in this email is one word -- 'the' -- the applicant assumes there is an opening as opposed to asking if there is an opening. This was Blind Copied to us and who knows how many other targets. This is the wrong way to apply for a job with anyone.

To Whom It May Concern:

I am very pleased to learn of the need for a PC Technician, Assembly, or Help Desk Technician position at your organization. My background and experience, with my skills and education, match up extremely well with your requirements.

The signature was scanned.

In the attached resume, we found the following mis-spellings
customer serive (service)
copyting (copying)
Custoemr service (customer)
Visual Basics (Visual Basic)

This resume was snail-mailed to us. If you can't bother to personalize -- and physically sign the cover letter -- and verify that there is a position you are qualified for -- why waste your time and postage? And spell-check should be a 'given.'

Objective

To find a job with a competitive salary, flexible schedule and very good benefits and also a job that has a very good tuition assistance program for college students. I currently have 60 hours and will be attending school for another 3 years.

This is not the place to apply if you're looking for a hand-out. If you want to actually 'work' -- and are truly 'wizard material,' give us a call to verify we're looking for someone -- then send in a resume.